Betty ford says i'm here all night
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
