Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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