Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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