it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
