i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
