i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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