You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
