Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize