hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
