the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
