Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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