Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
He felt like a one man threesome
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize
