whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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