I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I just gift wrapped bread.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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