We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
