I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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