Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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