The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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