ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
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