Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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