Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
