i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
handjob tips. give me some.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
You are a booty call, not a friend.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
And then my night got REAL pukey
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
