i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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