Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
