Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
