i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
