I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
