WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
