I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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