Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
