mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
