A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
