what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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