I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
