Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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