i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
