I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Randomize
