I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
