there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I AM VODKA MAN
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
