I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
