We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
