Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
