guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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