Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
