Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize