and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
