Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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