We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
