the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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