I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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