so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
