Buhtt sex?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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