The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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