I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
