her vagine was all disorganized.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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