She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize