I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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