no, he came in my armpit
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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