This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
