You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize