dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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