i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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