im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
