You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
