He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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