she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
