We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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