Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
