how can u be prego again
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
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