Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
