Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize