i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
one might say we're banned from that church
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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