We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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