i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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