your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
