I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
