i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
