You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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