Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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