You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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