i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
