dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
